I believe one of the greatest barriers to serving is fear of looking awkward. I definitely feel that way, and I see it with many of my new servers. The best way to overcome it is to practice. The easiest way to look awkward is to try and do everything all at once. Practice your movements one at a time. First practice setting down plates. Then practice picking up silverware. Practice carrying a tray. Practice approaching a table. I am sure you can think of many other actions you could practice.
Practice each movement slowly. Line up three plates on a table and practice setting them down. Pay attention to your wrist. Is it tense? Loosen it. Pay attention to your shoulders. Are they up around your ears? Relax them. Are you bending over too far? Stand up straight. Do it again. Don’t worry too much about speed. It will come.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when practicing is only doing the movement correctly. In real life, you will have to make adjustments as you move. The same should be true in your practice. You will set a plate down too close to the table edge. Practice correcting for it. You will tilt the tray too far. Practice righting it. You will start your approach too fast. Practice slowing yourself down.
Another mistake is practicing looking at your hands the whole time. In serving, you need to be aware of your surroundings. Practice setting plates while looking at the table. Practice carrying a tray while looking where you are going. Practice approaching the table while looking at your guests.
I would rather you practice for 15 minutes a day than an hour a week. With 15 minutes, you can set up one little station and decide what movement you want to practice. You can spend a few minutes practicing that movement. Finally, you can spend a few minutes trying it at a more normal speed. What was different? What did you do right? That is what matters.
If you are really struggling, simplify. If you are trying to practice carrying a tray and it is too heavy, take some things off. If you are trying to practice approaching a table and it is too much, just practice the approach without the speaking part. Add it back in later. That is how we build our movements. That is how we simplify our jobs.
Getting feedback on your movements is helpful. But not if all you ask for is a yes or no answer. Instead of asking, “Was that good?” you should ask, “Was my plate even with the edge of the table?” or “Was my pause before speaking too long?” Even better, video yourself. Watch it once without the sound, then once with. Without the sound, you can evaluate your movements. With the sound, you can evaluate your speaking. Try to focus on one or two things at a time.
After a week of this practice, I think you will find that it isn’t that you feel confident and then your service is better. Your service is better and then you feel confident. When you approach the table and feel solid. When you set down a plate and it doesn’t make a loud noise. When you turn around the table and don’t bump into the chair. Then you will feel confident. That confidence will come from your practice. It will come from your corrections. It will come from paying attention to details.